Oh Brother Where Art Thou Pete and Delmar Just Got Baptized

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Pomade Vendor: I can become the part from Bristol. It'll take two weeks, here's your pomade.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Ii weeks? That don't exercise me no adept.

Pomade Vendor: Nearest Ford machine man's Bristol.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Hold on, I don't want this pomade. I desire Dapper Dan.

Pomade Vendor: I don't carry Dapper Dan, I behave Fop.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, I don't want Fop, goddamn it! I'm a Dapper Dan man!

Pomade Vendor: Watch your language, young feller, this is a public market. Now if you want Dapper Dan, I can order information technology for y'all, have information technology in a couple of weeks.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, ain't this identify a geographical oddity. 2 weeks from everywhere!

Pete: Wait a infinitesimal. Who elected y'all leader of this outfit?

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well Pete, I figured it should be the one with the chapters for abstruse thought. But if that ain't the consensus view, then hell, allow's put it to a vote.

Pete: Suits me. I'm voting for yours truly.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well I'm voting for yours truly besides.

[Everett and Pete await at Delmar for the deciding vote]

Delmar O'Donnell: Okay... I'm with y'all fellas.

Tommy Johnson: I had to be up at that at that place crossroads concluding midnight, to sell my soul to the devil.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, ain't it a pocket-size world, spiritually speaking. Pete and Delmar just been baptized and saved. I guess I'm the only i that remains unaffiliated.

[afterward the *FOUR* soggy bottom boys terminate recording "I Am a Homo of Constant Sorrow"]

Ulysses Everett McGill: Woo! Hot Damn, son I believe you did sell your soul to the devil.

Lund: Woooooooo-wee. Boy, that was a miiiighty fine a-pickin' and a-singin'. I'll tell you what, you lot come on in here and sign these papers here and I'm a gonna you ten dollars a piece.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Uh, okay sir. But Murt and Aloysius will have to sign Xes equally just iv of usa can write.

[first lines]

Ulysses Everett McGill: Say, whatever of yous boys smithies? Or, if non smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin'?

Bullheaded Seer: Y'all seek a bully fortune, you lot three who are now in chains. You volition notice a fortune, though it will not exist the one you lot seek. Merely showtime... offset you must travel a long and difficult route, a road fraught with peril. Mm-hmm. You lot shall meet thangs, wonderful to tell. Yous shall meet a... a cow... on the roof of a cotton house, ha. And, oh, so many startlements. I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, simply fearfulness not the obstacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward. Though the road may air current, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation.

Pappy O'Daniel: And furthermore, by way of endorsing my candidacy, the Soggy Lesser Boys are gonna pb usa all in a rousing chorus of "You Are My Sunshine."

[Applause. Pappy turns away from the mike, towards Everett]

Pappy O'Daniel: [no-nonsense] Own't y'all, boys?

Ulysses Everett McGill: Governor, information technology'south one of our favorites.

Pappy O'Daniel: Son... you're gonna become far.

Pete: Well I'll exist a sonofabitch. Delmar'due south been saved.

Delmar O'Donnell: Well that'due south information technology, boys. I've been redeemed. The preacher's washed warshed away all my sins and transgressions. It's the straight and narrow from here on out, and heaven everlasting's my reward.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Delmar, what are you talking about? Nosotros've got bigger fish to fry.

Delmar O'Donnell: The preacher says all my sins is warshed away, including that Piggly Wiggly I knocked over in Yazoo.

Ulysses Everett McGill: I idea you said you was innocent of those charges?

Delmar O'Donnell: Well I was lyin'. And the preacher says that that sin's been warshed away too. Neither God nor human'due south got nothin' on me at present. C'monday in boys, the water is fine.

Delmar O'Donnell: Care for some gopher?

Ulysses Everett McGill: No thank yous, Delmar. A third of a gopher would only agitate my appetite without beddin' 'er back downwards.

Delmar O'Donnell: Oh, you tin have the whole thing. Me and Pete already had one apiece. We ran across a whole... gopher village.

Pete: I've always wondered, what'south the devil look like?

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, there are all manner of lesser imps and demons, Pete, but the corking Satan hisself is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail, and he carries a hay fork.

Tommy Johnson: Oh, no. No, sir. He's white, as white as yous folks, with empty optics and a big hollow vocalization. He likes to travel around with a hateful old hound. That's right.

Pete: The Preacher said it absolved us.

Ulysses Everett McGill: For him, non for the police. I'chiliad surprised at you, Pete, I gave you credit for more brains than Delmar.

Delmar O'Donnell: But they was witnesses that seen united states redeemed.

Ulysses Everett McGill: That'southward non the issue Delmar. Even if that did put you foursquare with the Lord, the Land of Mississippi's a little more hard-nosed.

[laughs]

Ulysses Everett McGill: Baptism! You lot two are just dumber than a handbag of hammers!

Ulysses Everett McGill: You can't display a toad in a fine restaurant like this! Why, the good folks here would go correct off the feed!

Delmar O'Donnell: I only don't think it's right keeping him under wraps like nosotros's ashamed of him.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, if it is Pete, I am ashamed of him! Way I come across it, he got what he deserved, fornicating with some whore of Babylon. These things don't happen for no reason, Delmar. It's apparently some kinda judgment on his grapheme.

Delmar O'Donnell: Well, the ii of us was fixin' to fornicate!

Pappy O'Daniel: Sounded to me similar he was harboring a hateful grudge against the Soggy Bottom Boys on account of their rough and rowdy past. Looks similar Homer Stokes is the kind of fellow who wants to cast the start stone.

[boos]

Pappy O'Daniel: Well, I'm with you folks. I'm a forgive-and-forgettin' Christian, and I say, if their rambunctiousness, and misdemeanoring, is behind them...

[turns abroad from the mike, towards Everett]

Pappy O'Daniel: [no-nonsense] It is, ain't it, boys?

Ulysses Everett McGill: Uh, yes sir, information technology is.

Ulysses Everett McGill: The treasure is however there boys, believe me.

Delmar O'Donnell: Merely how'd he know virtually the treasure?

Ulysses Everett McGill: I don't know Delmar. The bullheaded are reputed to possess sensitivities compensating for their lack of sight, fifty-fifty to the point of developing paranormal psychic powers. Now, clearly seeing into the future would fall into neatly into that category; its not and then surprising then that an organism deprived of its earthly vision...

Pete: He said we wouldn't get get information technology. He said we wouldn't get the treasure we seek on account of our ob-stac-les.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well what the hell does he know, he's just an ignorant quondam human being?

Lund: Now, what can I do you for Mr. French?

French: How can I lay a hold of them Soggy Bottom Boys?

Lund: Soggy Bottom? I don't precisely recollect them.

French: They cut a record in here a few days ago, was an old-timey harmony thing with a guitar accom... accomp...

Lund: Oh here, hither, here, I remember them! They was colored fellas, I believe.

French: Uh huh.

Lund: Yessuh, they're a fine bunch a boys. They sang in the yonder tin and skeedadled.

French: Well that record is goin' through the goddamned roof. They playin' it as far away as Mobile.

Lund: Naw?

French: Whole damn state'south goin' apey.

Lund: Well it was a powerful air.

French: Hot damn, nosotros gotta find them boys and sign 'em to a big fat contract. Hells Bells, Mr. Lund, if we don't the goddamned competition will.

Lund: Ohhhh mercy! Yes we got to beat that competition.

George Nelson: [subsequently Nelson has robbed the depository financial institution] Give thanks y'all folks! And recall, Jesus saves, but George Nelson withdraws!

[laughs]

George Nelson: Go fetch the automobile voiture, Pete.

Woman In Banking concern: [whispering] Is that "Babyface" Nelson?

George Nelson: Who said that?

[pause]

George Nelson: What ignorant, low downwardly, slanderizin, son of a bowwow said that?

[goes up to woman]

George Nelson: My name is George Nelson, get me?

Delmar O'Donnell: She didn't mean nothin by it, George.

George Nelson: [noticeably upset] George Nelson! Not "Babyface"! You lot remember, and you tell your friends! I'm George Nelson! Born to raise hell!

[Nelson points his Tommy Gun towards the ceiling and fires it, and the bank patrons bound]

[singing]

Ulysses Everett McGill: I am a man of constant sorrow, I've seen problem all my days. I bid bye to quondam Kentucky, the place where I was born and raised.

Delmar O'Donnell,Pete: The identify where he was born and raised.

Ulysses Everett McGill: For vi long years I've been in trouble, no pleasance here on World I've establish. For in this world I'thou bound to ramble, I have no friends to help me out.

Delmar O'Donnell,Pete: He has no friends to help him out.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Maybe your friends recollect I'm only a stranger, my face you never volition meet no more. But in that location is one hope that is given, I'll encounter you on God's gold shore.

Delmar O'Donnell,Pete: He'll meet you on God'due south golden shore.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Me an' the one-time lady are gonna pick up the pieces and retie the knot, mixaphorically speaking.

Delmar O'Donnell: I'thou gonna visit those foreclosing son-of-a-guns at the Indianola Savings & Loan, slap that money on the barrelhead and buy back the family unit subcontract. Yous ain't no kind of human if yous ain't got land.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete'south cousin turned us in for the compensation.

Pete: The hell you lot say! Wash is kin!

Washington Hogwallop: Sorry, Pete, I know we're kin, but they got this depression on. I got to do for me and mine.

Pete: I'thousand gonna kill yous, Judas Iscariot Hogwallop!

Pete: Well hell, it own't square one! Own't nobody gonna choice up iii filthy, unshaved hitch-hikers, and one of them a know-it-all that tin can't go on his trap close.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete, the personal rancor reflected in that remark I don't intend to dignify with comment. Simply I would like to address your full general attitude of hopeless negativism. Consider the lilies of the goddamn field or... hell! Take at expect at Delmar here as your prototype of hope.

Delmar O'Donnell: Yeah, look at me.

[Discussing how to counter Homer Stokes' campaign for governor]

Inferior O'Daniel: Nosotros could hire our own midget, even shorter than his.

Pappy O'Daniel: Wouldn't we look like a bunch of Johnny-come-latelies, bragging on our ain midget, doesn't matter how stumpy.

Pappy O'Daniel: Shake a leg Junior! Thank God your mammy died givin' birth. If she'd have seen you, she'd accept died o' shame.

Homer Stokes: [every bit Grand Kleagle at a KKK rally] Brothers! Oh, brothers! Nosotros have all gathered hither, to preserve our hallowed civilization and heritage! We aim to pull evil upwardly by the root, before it chokes out the bloom of our culture and heritage! And our women, let'south not forget those ladies, y'all. Looking to us for protection! From darkies, from Jews, from papists, and from all those smart-ass folks say we come descended from monkeys!

Ulysses Everett McGill: Mendacious, two-faced she-woman. Never trust a female Delmar, remember that one uncomplicated axiom and your time with me will non have been sick spent.

Delmar O'Donnell: Ok, Everett.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Hit by a railroad train! Truth means null to a woman, Delmar. Triumph of the subjective. Y'all e'er been with a adult female?

Delmar O'Donnell: Well, I... I... I gotta get the family farm back before I can start thinking about that.

Ulysses Everett McGill: That's right, if and so. Believe me Delmar, woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture always devised to bedevil the days of man.

Penny Wharvey McGill: Vernon hither'due south got a job. Vernon'due south got prospects. He's bona fide. What are you?

Pete: Do non seek the treasure!

Big Dan Teague: Yous don't say much my friend, only when y'all do information technology's to the point, and I salute you for it.

Pappy O'Daniel: I'll press your flesh, you dimwitted sumbitch! You don't tell your pappy how to courtroom the electorate. We ain't one-at-a-timin' here. We're MASS communicating!

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, as shortly as nosotros get ourselves cleaned up and nosotros go a little smellum in our pilus, why, we're gonna feel 100% meliorate nigh ourselves and about life in general.

Pete: Crazy! No one'due south ever gonna believe we're a real band.

Ulysses Everett McGill: No, it'due south gonna piece of work. I but gotta get close plenty to talk to her. Takin' off with u.s. has got more future than marryin' a guy named Waldrip. I'yard Goddamned bona fide!

Delmar O'Donnell: Everett, my beard itches.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Why are you telling our gals that I was hit by a train?

Penny Wharvey McGill: Lots of respectable people have been hit by trains. Gauge Hobbie over in Cookville was hit by a railroad train. What was I gonna tell them, that you got sent to the penal farm and I divorced you from shame?

Ulysses Everett McGill: Uh, I take your signal. But it does put me in a damn awkward position, vis-a-vis my progeny.

Siren,Siren,Siren: [singing] Go to sleep you lot little babe / Get to sleep you little baby / You and me and the devil makes three / Don't need no other lovin' babe // Go to sleep you little baby / Get to sleep you little baby / Come up and lay your bones on the alabaster stones / And be my always lovin' baby // Go to sleep you little babe / Get to slumber you petty baby / Your momma's gone abroad and your daddy's gone to stay / Didn't go out nobody but the baby // Go to slumber you lot trivial baby / Become to slumber you lot little babe / Everybody'due south gone in the cotton and the corn / Didn't leave nobody but the baby // Yous're a sweet little baby / You're a sweet little baby / Beloved in the rock and the carbohydrate don't terminate / Gonna bring a bottle to the infant // Don't y'all weep pretty baby / Don't you weep pretty babe / She's long gone with the cherry shoes on / Gonna meet some other lovin' baby // Go to sleep y'all little baby / Get to sleep you little infant / You and me and the devil makes three / Don't need no other lovin' babe // Become to slumber you petty infant / Get to sleep you piffling baby / You and me and the devil makes three / Don't need no other lovin' baby // Go to sleep you little infant / Go to sleep yous picayune babe / Your momma'southward gone away and your daddy'southward gone to stay / Didn't exit nobody but the infant // Become to slumber you little baby / Become to sleep y'all piffling baby / Come up and lay your bones on the alabaster stones / And be my ever lovin' babe

Delmar O'Donnell: Them syreens did this to Pete. They loved him up and turned him into a horny toad.

Homer Stokes: These boys is not white! These boys is not white! Hell, they ain't even old timey!

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, I gauge hard times flush the doormat. Everybody'southward lookin' for answers... Where the hell'southward he goin'?

[equally Delmar runs out to exist baptized]

Pete: Well, I'll be a son of a bitch. Delmar's been saved!

Man with Bullhorn: All right, boys! It's the regime! We got you surrounded! Just come on out and grabbin' air! And don't endeavor goose egg fancy! Your sityeachin is purty virtually hopeless!

[as a noose is flung over Pete]

Sheriff Cooley: Stairway to heaven. Nosotros shall all meet past and by.

Ulysses Everett McGill: And so you're against me at present too? Is that how it is boys? The whole world, God almighty, and at present you lot.

Delmar O'Donnell: Jacking up banks. I tin can see how a fella'd derive a whole lot of pleasure and satisfaction out of information technology.

Large Dan Teague: Thank you for the conversational hiatus. I generally refrain from speech durin' gustation. I notice it class and vulgar. Where were we?

Delmar O'Donnell: Makin' money in the service of the Lord.

Large Dan Teague: Heh, you don't say much, friend, simply when y'all do, information technology's to the point and I salute yous for it!

Ulysses Everett McGill: I am the only daddy you got! I'm the damn paterfamilias!

Wharvey Gal: But you lot ain't bona fide!

Big Dan Teague: Thank you boys for throwin' in that fricassee. I'm a man of large appetite, and even with lunch under my belt, I was feelin' a mite peckish.

Ulysses Everett McGill: It'due south our pleasure, Big Dan.

Pappy O'Daniel: Moral fibre? I invented moral fibre! Pappy O'Daniel was displaying rectitude and high-mindedness when that egghead you piece of work for was still messing his drawers!

Pappy O'Daniel: Furthermore, in the second Pappy O'Daniel administration, these boys is gonna be my *brain* trust.

Delmar O'Donnell: What'due south that hateful, Everett?

Homer Stokes: And I say to y'all that the great country a Mississippi cannot beget iv more than years a Pappy O'Daniel - four more years a cronyism, nepotism, racialism and service to the Innarests! The choice, she'southward a clear 'un: Pappy O'Daniel, slave a the Innarests; Homer Stokes, servant a the little man! Own't that right, fiddling fella?

The Piddling Human: He ain't lyin'!

Ulysses Everett McGill: Yessir, the S is gonna change. Everything's gonna be put on electricity and run on a paying footing. Out with former spiritual mumbo-jumbo, the superstition and the astern ways. We're gonna come across a brave new globe where they run everyone a wire and hook us all up to the filigree. Yessir, a veritable age of reason - like they had in France. And non a moment too soon...

Soggy Bottom Customer: Do you have the Soggy Bottom Boys performing "Man of Constant Sorrow"?

Record Store Clerk: No ma'am. We got a new shipment in yesterday. Sorry, but we just can't proceed 'em on our shelves.

Pete: Since we been followin' your lead, we own't got aught but trouble.

Pete: My pa always said "Never trust a Hogwallop!"

Ulysses Everett McGill: The old tactician has got a plan. For the transportation that is, I don't know how I'm gonna keep my coiffure in order.

Pete: How's this a program? How we gonna get a car?

Ulysses Everett McGill: Sell that. I figure information technology tin can only have painful clan for Wash.

Pete: [reading] "To Washington Bartholomew Hogwallop, from his loving Cora. Amor Fidel... is."

Ulysses Everett McGill: It was in his agency. I figure information technology'll fetch us plenty cash for a skilful used auto-voiture, and a piddling left over too.

Delmar O'Donnell: Hey mister! I don't hateful to be tellin' tales out of school, but there's a feller in there that'll pay you ten dollars if you sing into his tin can.

Big Dan Teague: Bible sales. Now the merchandise is non a complicated one. There are but two things to learn. One bein' where to find a wholesaler - the Word of God in bulk as it were. 2, how to recognize your customer. Who are you dealin' with? Information technology'south an practice in psychology, and then to speak.

Homer Stokes: This ring of miscreants, this very evening, interfered with a lynch mob in the performance of its duty.

[Last Lines]

Bullheaded Seer: [sings] Oh, bear me away on your snow white wings to my celestial home

Woolworths Client: Who is that man?

Penny Wharvey McGill: He's not my husband... Just a out-of-stater, I approximate... Just some no-account drifter.

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